Chewed Slippers

If I had to choose a nickname, it would be something like “Chunk the Hunk”, for very obvious reasons.

“Stinky Chunky” would be pretty far down my preferred list, but alas, it seems it might stick with me. And for once, I think I might actually deserve it.

The story unfolds thus. I got left behind at my auntie’s house while my family, very rudely, went off on holiday without me. Now auntie Diane is a good egg, but she works so I was left home alone for 4 hours. You’re probably thinking, “what could possibly happen in 4 paltry hours?”.

Well, being a hound of extreme intellect, I was bound to get bored by myself and the only way to satisfy my thirst for knowledge was to errrm …. well, eat.

My trusty nose (which has never let me down) led me to the bin in the kitchen, where a curious and rather pungent odour drew me like a magnet. It seems they’d had a curry the night before and it didn’t take me long to scoff the leftovers and a few other mixed morsels, before curling up on my bed and thinking she’d be none the wiser.

My plan was going rather splendidly until my auntie’s return, at which point I was hurriedly bundled into the back of her car for a visit to my nan and gramps house, without so much as a chance for a “comfort break”. About half an hour into the journey I knew something was very wrong. Very wrong indeed.

My stomach was grumbling and churning in a most alarming manner. I was coming out in a cold sweat. My usual bum wiggling gesture wasn’t understood by my auntie and they motored on regardless. I was starting to panic. Look left, look right. Down at the footwell. Oh crikey no, please no … the rest is too gruesome to describe.

It was at that point that my auntie started glaring at me in the mirror and saying “My God what is that awful stink”. She pulled over into a lay-by, by which time I was sat pinned into the corner of the back seat trying to avoid the rather impressive pile of steaming poo that was slowly spreading across the seat towards me.

I don’t think I’ll be staying at their house again. Still, the good thing is that mum might have to take me on holiday with them next time!

Boris the Bear

When I got home I had a new toy to try out. But imagine my surprise when mum unwrapped it for me and produced a really cute blue bear called Boris. My mum said “that won’t last two minutes”, but she was so wrong. Yes I’ve chewed its ears and legs and it looks pretty messy now, but it hasn’t come apart and I’ve had great fun tossing it around the room. Still, keep it hush hush … I can’t let anyone know that Chunk the (ahem) Hunk goes to sleep with a cute blue bear every night.

Licks and Kisses
Chunky x

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 at 12:04 pm and is filed under Chunky, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.